Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Heart of Kitsilano Comedy.




Ding dong the well is dead. It's official, Phil sold the Urban Well, and its new owners won't be doing comedy, so just short of it's 10th year, the comedy show at the Well is done as of Halloween. Thundering Word Heard is dead too. I went there on Sunday to put my own finishing touches on that show. Thundering Word Heard ran for years, but in recent months the decline has been evident. T Paul, a sweet guy with a big heart, but unfortunately his blood vessles are a little thin, and he had an aneurism. He survived, and recovered quite quickly, but not quick enough to save the Word. And, as he liked to point out at every show since, he has made no money, and is about to be evicted. Sad, inevitable, and definately NOT entertaining. As T Paul made his final plea for donations from the crowd on Sunday, I had had enough. I took a fifty dollar bill and stuffed it in the jar, saying, "now pay yer rent, I'm tired of hearing about!"

The reality is that the Thundering Word Heard had lost its thunder. Moving out of MoMar and to The Main was Deadly. The Main is the worst venue ever. The waitresses are all total twats, and the little greaseball owner was just another cheap, stupid Vancouver resterantuer. But even the venue being shit, and T Paul being laid up is not what did it in. It was inevitably the "talent" on the show that killed it. No one of any distinction got up much. RC and Al Mater would get up every now and then to try to save it, and I would get up too, but it was doomed. The line-up was consistently the same wannabee's and neverwills, retired old ladies and office clerks, guitar players with three fingers, and failed writers and performers cranking out the same "poetry" and stories every week. And guess what? If it sucked last week, there's a pretty good chance it will suck this week. Fortunately this little gaggle of hobbyists was also a mutual admiration society, so they maintained each others belief that they are actually getting somehere! It was painful to watch, and embarassing to be part of. So now it's over. Just as well.

And now it turns out the Urban Well is sold, and will be completely gutted and changed. I couldn't be less sad. The well began as an stage for BB and the butt-fuckers to validate each other, try to fuck a waitress, and pray that BB would make it and take them with him. History would show they were mistaken. Recently P-love was running it exclusively after his sichophantic partner let go of the graft of the room. P-love had worked hard to upgrade it, unaware I'm sure that the owner was planning to sell it from under him. P-love's booking the Funny Bone, and so it'll be no sweat off his ass. But the butt-fuckers (not unlike the sad-sacks of spoken word) are going to have to dig deep to find a reason not to blow their brains out.

And how does this play in to the Big Dick's hands - my loyal readers may ask? Darby's is NOT ending. In fact, there just put up a very cool looking (and huge) banner, based on my suggestions, and table tents. The show last night was awesome. Great crowd, who laughed from beginning to end. The Caucasian Youth Gang members are getting really good. Ivan Decker, who I have enlisted as my side-kick, alternated with me doing intros. Everyone loves him so he will run the show the two mondays I'll be away in NOV. And Seth Perry, has developed a level of consistently that is a real treat to watch. It's so refreshing to hang out with people of legitimate talent and potential. No need to pat each other on the back, the audience, and staff do that for them. Speaking of the staff, they are awesome! Good looking young women who are enthusiastic and SEXY. A couple came back to Dick's Pad (my place) last night, as well as Janet Panic and Kelly and there rock star pal Cuba. The party went all night, with the music all live all the time, and we didn't have to sit through one "poem" or "story" (although, poetry is a good way to get the fireplace started). The pad is set up to accomodate people partying, and there is tons of room now that I got rid of the Old Toilet Seat. So I'm a little sleepy today...but Darby's is now the Kitsilano comedy place, and this Monday is a Halloween show, so all the comics will be dressed up, and Simon King will close. So come on down to Kitsialano's only comedy Venue - DARBY'S on 4th and MacDonald.