Thursday, December 07, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
VanCity Sucks Hard!!
WHAT A FUCKING WEEK! CHECK OUT HOW THIS GOES DOWN LOYAL READERS!
I lose my bank card. I have check from Calgary, same place I've been getting checks from for 15 fucking years! I got to branch 8 of Vancity, where I've had an account for well over five years. I get them to make me and new card, cancel the old one, and deposit my check. The teller takes it to the deskblob, and she decides due to the amount of the check, and because its out of province, they will need to hold it for two fucking weeks. I beg, but it is too late.
Driving back from Quesnel through a blizzard on Sunday night, I have a blow out of my front tire a block from home, (thank you jesus). I change the flat to the donut. I deposit my check from the Quesnel gig, and of course there is no hold on it so I still have plenty of cash available.
On Wednesday I am going to get a new tire put on, and go to M.R. to pick up my daughter to bring her to a rehearsal of the play I'm directing at the church. The nice Chinese man, I have been buying tires from for years, puts on a new tire and I go to pay it with my card. A snow storm has begun and am gald to have a real front tire to work with. The interact machine gives the wrong beep and says I have no chequing account. "Maybe its savings" he says to me. "I know what kind of fucking account I have!" I say to myself. I phone the number for Vancity on the back of the card, and the first of what would be a long succession of soccer moms, ESL staudents and 25 year old girls with grade 12 educations I would have to deal with on the phone, tells me that an action has been taken on my account and all the funds are frozen. FROZEN. ALL.
As the chinese man roughly takes the tire off and replaces it with the temporary donut he scowls that "White Demon" scowl they have. I cancell my daughter pick up, and the whole rehearsal. I phone the barster, my accountant, and he chases it down. Rev Can check bounced cause of the check hold and they decided to slap a freeze on my money. MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING CUNTFACED FAGGOTS!!!
Anyway, Barster is gonna go in an get it fixed. If everything works out the freeze will be off my cash Friday morning. I am headed to the island, and Barster told me to phone the branch and tell them to be expecting a fax from Rev Can lifting the freeze.
The next day, I miss the early fairy. I need to get to the airport for 1:30 flight to Edmonton to do a fat corporate yuks gig, and emcee the edmonton club. On the way, I phone the bank to see if that all worked out. The 3rd 25 year old girl with a grade twelve education tells me no fax came through and my funds remain frozen. Fuck. I rip her a new one.
I phone the Barster. He is very surprized because W. at Rev Can faxed it even before Barster got the Rev Can to give W. the cash and post-dated checks we had agreed to. He fishes around, and finds his own copy of the letter. He will fax that to them and then it'll be fine.
Meanwhile I phone Westjet to tell them I racing to get there and please let me on late. I have to meet up with Barster so he can take the car back and we hook up on 49th and Oak and I drive the 90 Honda with the temp donut tire like it's a Ferrari!
We get there and I get to the check in with 10 minutes to spare. You can the see where this piece of shit day is going.
The gate is closed.
WestJet Knob can't get me on. Next flight - 6:30. Too late. I call barry to pay the rebooking charge of $5 bucks plus tax to get me a flight on the 6:30. I phone Yuks trying to find out what time this show is. Barry pays for the rebook fee and suggest I see what Air Canada has. He leaves in the car. I forget that my hpone is charging in the car, but he's gone. Fortunately I have JM's cell phone. AC has a 2:30 flight. I phone the bank to see if they have fixed my non-existent checking account. By now I've graduated from know-nothing drones to ESL students and right at the heart of Vancity's People Over Profits demographics. I realize I need to talk to the manager of my branch. Enter Soccer Mom Courtney. I rip her a new fat ass, and she tells me she will talk to collections and see what they can do. My own bank has a collections agency on me...
I start to think about keeping my cash under my mattress again.
Turns out that there was a fax, but it had the wrong date on it. Oh I see. We've gone from they adamant denial that any fax showed up, to that well, there was this one, but it had the wrong date on it. And even though I phoned to tell them it was coming, they felt no compunction to phone me to say there was a problem. Fuck that straight white guy, they thought.
I try to explain to Courtney my situation, needing a measley 222 of the 4 K in my account to get my ass to Edmonton to make another 1200 bucks.
She can do nothing. I suggest she find someone around there with a back ground in business, MAYBE A WHITE GUY, who could help her do her job.
Then the mid-terminal VVR rant began. "Ethical!!"
"You know what ethical means? It means LOW returns, LOW service, HIGH service charges, TOP heavy bureaucracy and BOTTOM heavy staff!!
I hung up the phone. Only one chance left to make the gigs. I phone CR at yuks to see if they'll front the money for the 2:30 Air Canada flight. SHE tells me not to worry, they rebooked the shows, and I can stay home...
Byebye 1200 bucks
I go to cancel the Westjet flights. "So you don't want the return flight on Monday either?" the genius fag at Westjet asks."No need to return from someplace I not going to." I answer dryly. My rage dopamines have been spent on Courtney and the rest of the lazy, stupid, incompetant, lying, imbezzling, lisping, quadraplegic midgets at Vancity.
I phone Barster and the Cman, neither can pick me up. I walk down, my suit case rolling along through the ice and slush behind me to the Petrocan by the airport and try to hitch hike home. I have the wrong phone, so I don't have any numbers except for the ones I've memorized.
All I can think of is CEO Dave Mowat and his parade float of a wife, and how I can fuck him up. I realize that my daughter's Christmas present haul will be greatly reduced because of him. I vow to give her the sweetest gift of all. REVENGE
I scroll the phone book on the cell. Maybe I'll recognize someone. I do.
Van Welles Decker answers. I tell him whatsup. He's downtown. His car is in Ladner. He'll take the bus back to Ladner, fill up his car with coolant, and come and get me.
90 minutes later, my 9 year old knight in shining armour drives up to the Petrocan. I get in and scream MOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKER!!
Van gets me to my car.
I go home.
I DRINK.
Next day I go to Money Mart. They cash the check from the night before and count out crisp fifties. I go to give the young woman her pen back, since it isn't chained down. She smiles, and I notice her piercings and her UBC ring.
"Keep the pen Mr. Lett."
As I leave I ask her what she's studying at University.
"Business and Commerce." she says.
God I love Money Mart.
I lose my bank card. I have check from Calgary, same place I've been getting checks from for 15 fucking years! I got to branch 8 of Vancity, where I've had an account for well over five years. I get them to make me and new card, cancel the old one, and deposit my check. The teller takes it to the deskblob, and she decides due to the amount of the check, and because its out of province, they will need to hold it for two fucking weeks. I beg, but it is too late.
Driving back from Quesnel through a blizzard on Sunday night, I have a blow out of my front tire a block from home, (thank you jesus). I change the flat to the donut. I deposit my check from the Quesnel gig, and of course there is no hold on it so I still have plenty of cash available.
On Wednesday I am going to get a new tire put on, and go to M.R. to pick up my daughter to bring her to a rehearsal of the play I'm directing at the church. The nice Chinese man, I have been buying tires from for years, puts on a new tire and I go to pay it with my card. A snow storm has begun and am gald to have a real front tire to work with. The interact machine gives the wrong beep and says I have no chequing account. "Maybe its savings" he says to me. "I know what kind of fucking account I have!" I say to myself. I phone the number for Vancity on the back of the card, and the first of what would be a long succession of soccer moms, ESL staudents and 25 year old girls with grade 12 educations I would have to deal with on the phone, tells me that an action has been taken on my account and all the funds are frozen. FROZEN. ALL.
As the chinese man roughly takes the tire off and replaces it with the temporary donut he scowls that "White Demon" scowl they have. I cancell my daughter pick up, and the whole rehearsal. I phone the barster, my accountant, and he chases it down. Rev Can check bounced cause of the check hold and they decided to slap a freeze on my money. MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING CUNTFACED FAGGOTS!!!
Anyway, Barster is gonna go in an get it fixed. If everything works out the freeze will be off my cash Friday morning. I am headed to the island, and Barster told me to phone the branch and tell them to be expecting a fax from Rev Can lifting the freeze.
The next day, I miss the early fairy. I need to get to the airport for 1:30 flight to Edmonton to do a fat corporate yuks gig, and emcee the edmonton club. On the way, I phone the bank to see if that all worked out. The 3rd 25 year old girl with a grade twelve education tells me no fax came through and my funds remain frozen. Fuck. I rip her a new one.
I phone the Barster. He is very surprized because W. at Rev Can faxed it even before Barster got the Rev Can to give W. the cash and post-dated checks we had agreed to. He fishes around, and finds his own copy of the letter. He will fax that to them and then it'll be fine.
Meanwhile I phone Westjet to tell them I racing to get there and please let me on late. I have to meet up with Barster so he can take the car back and we hook up on 49th and Oak and I drive the 90 Honda with the temp donut tire like it's a Ferrari!
We get there and I get to the check in with 10 minutes to spare. You can the see where this piece of shit day is going.
The gate is closed.
WestJet Knob can't get me on. Next flight - 6:30. Too late. I call barry to pay the rebooking charge of $5 bucks plus tax to get me a flight on the 6:30. I phone Yuks trying to find out what time this show is. Barry pays for the rebook fee and suggest I see what Air Canada has. He leaves in the car. I forget that my hpone is charging in the car, but he's gone. Fortunately I have JM's cell phone. AC has a 2:30 flight. I phone the bank to see if they have fixed my non-existent checking account. By now I've graduated from know-nothing drones to ESL students and right at the heart of Vancity's People Over Profits demographics. I realize I need to talk to the manager of my branch. Enter Soccer Mom Courtney. I rip her a new fat ass, and she tells me she will talk to collections and see what they can do. My own bank has a collections agency on me...
I start to think about keeping my cash under my mattress again.
Turns out that there was a fax, but it had the wrong date on it. Oh I see. We've gone from they adamant denial that any fax showed up, to that well, there was this one, but it had the wrong date on it. And even though I phoned to tell them it was coming, they felt no compunction to phone me to say there was a problem. Fuck that straight white guy, they thought.
I try to explain to Courtney my situation, needing a measley 222 of the 4 K in my account to get my ass to Edmonton to make another 1200 bucks.
She can do nothing. I suggest she find someone around there with a back ground in business, MAYBE A WHITE GUY, who could help her do her job.
Then the mid-terminal VVR rant began. "Ethical!!"
"You know what ethical means? It means LOW returns, LOW service, HIGH service charges, TOP heavy bureaucracy and BOTTOM heavy staff!!
I hung up the phone. Only one chance left to make the gigs. I phone CR at yuks to see if they'll front the money for the 2:30 Air Canada flight. SHE tells me not to worry, they rebooked the shows, and I can stay home...
Byebye 1200 bucks
I go to cancel the Westjet flights. "So you don't want the return flight on Monday either?" the genius fag at Westjet asks."No need to return from someplace I not going to." I answer dryly. My rage dopamines have been spent on Courtney and the rest of the lazy, stupid, incompetant, lying, imbezzling, lisping, quadraplegic midgets at Vancity.
I phone Barster and the Cman, neither can pick me up. I walk down, my suit case rolling along through the ice and slush behind me to the Petrocan by the airport and try to hitch hike home. I have the wrong phone, so I don't have any numbers except for the ones I've memorized.
All I can think of is CEO Dave Mowat and his parade float of a wife, and how I can fuck him up. I realize that my daughter's Christmas present haul will be greatly reduced because of him. I vow to give her the sweetest gift of all. REVENGE
I scroll the phone book on the cell. Maybe I'll recognize someone. I do.
Van Welles Decker answers. I tell him whatsup. He's downtown. His car is in Ladner. He'll take the bus back to Ladner, fill up his car with coolant, and come and get me.
90 minutes later, my 9 year old knight in shining armour drives up to the Petrocan. I get in and scream MOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKERMOTHERFUCKER!!
Van gets me to my car.
I go home.
I DRINK.
Next day I go to Money Mart. They cash the check from the night before and count out crisp fifties. I go to give the young woman her pen back, since it isn't chained down. She smiles, and I notice her piercings and her UBC ring.
"Keep the pen Mr. Lett."
As I leave I ask her what she's studying at University.
"Business and Commerce." she says.
God I love Money Mart.
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