there comes a time

when you just gotta write.
I have just returned from a late evening coffee at my office (the buckys on cornwall and yew). saturday night and the first time i've been alone in awhile. My charge Valerie, a young french canadian student I nicknamed Valoo, crashed on my couch for three weeks. We became very close by the end, with out encroaching on anything nasty. The intimacy we discovered in each other would have been impossible if sex was involved. Of course, people who saw us together would assume that we were sleeping together, even though she is 25 years younger than me. It was not the case and what we found, was not lust, but love. As we sat together on her last night here, and all the friends and neighbours had left, we talked in a way that can only happen with love in the room. As the tears rolled down her cheeks, and onto my shoulder, we knew the moment was special and ours. Let everyone else think what they want, we knew what we had. I have had more sex than love in my life, so the love was what I needed, and got.

Now I have my home back. The party allowed for all sorts of people share my territory, and now I have it back. I have had a week of finding resolution to things. My ex-lover, whom I wrote so furiously about, is leaving to Ontario. I feared it had been my lack of grace in handling the end that had percipitated this, but found out that it was something else. This gave me great relief, and I was able to be comfortable around her and her daughters again. I am very glad to have them back in my life before they leave.

Valoo (my couch surfer) left on friday, but not before convincing me to get our ears pierced. Now, for the first time in my life, I have a piercing. Valoo was determined that I not forget her and I surely won't.

I drove Taylor to some calls last night, and made some $, but man does that job, (driving escorts) show me a side of Vancouver that was invisible before. I went over to Mike Rogers place last night, and he is continuing to urge my to write the play I sketched out for him and I. So that is the latest project. Meanwhile, I have an audition on Monday morning, and the poetry slam is Monday night. I hope to have something written for that by then. So I really should be writing that instead of this blog.

Not sure why, but I have been thinking about Leanne a lot, wanting to make amends. I'm not sure how, but I have had the idea to get Honey to go to her work on Her birthday, and give her back the savings bonds, and the spousal support forms, and a new budgie. I saw Leanne at T.Pauls wake, and she never looked at me. All her friends did though, staring daggers at me. All four of them. I don't care, and am in fact grateful to not have to anything to do with them. I had attempted to like them when Leanne and I were together, but neither their personalities or their work inspired that. I miss Leanne though, or at least the Leanne I thought I knew. Seeing the cold rigid mask she displays when I'm around makes me think that whoever I was with for four years, might not have been real, or if she was, is gone now. But now, I'm must return to more creative writing projects.