"The Ballad of Bobby Pickton" debate and "Sweeney Todd" opens in Cinema's soon.

The debate rages on so I believe it's a good time to respond to what has been happening to me over the last couple weeks. I have been interviewed by APTN and a documentary related to Pickton murders. I have recieved personal calls of support from many friends, and much critcism from the print media and online. I certainly can see why the video has upset people - in fact it was created to cause such effect. I had no idea that it would grow into this, but that's how these things happen. The timing of the event - revealed to grieving family members on the last day of the trial - was not my timimg - and it changed the context of the piece entirely. It was never intended to be seen by people involved, and was intended as a commentary on human nature and our society. It was intended to spark discussion, and I have to say that it has been successful in that regard.

Tina House from APTN asked my why I choose such a topic to make fun of. I told her I was angry that this had happened and nobody cared, and I was in pain myself. So one very dark February night I found myself in my imagination, sitting in the passenger seat of Pickton's truck. That's when I wrote the verses. The idea to make it into a song was to do a take on musicals (Sweeney Todd) and songs (Mack the Knife) that romanticize killers. It would seem you could put anything to music and people would sing along to it.

The Pickton murder case was racist and violent and graphic, and so was the ballad, and I chose to present that. Would anyone have paid attention if it had been nice? Much artistic expression is intended to provoke. There will always be attempts to vilify the performer, and I think its hard for people to believe that comedy is an act, and what they saw was a performance. The brutish way the song was delivered does not represent me personally, but my schtick. It does leave me open to every name in the book - except liar.

I stand by what the piece intended, but I do regret that it has hurt people's feelings, and I would like for people emotionally connected to it to NOT WATCH the video. (Just like I don't tend to read the hate mail). It would seem people would prefer me to do as they do, shut their mouths, and wait for another 50 people to go missing. Just less people to relocate for the Olympics. Happy Holidays - Richard

I also feel for the other Richard Lett, whose number is listed, and no doubt has had to deal with a lot of unwanted phonecalls. Sorry Richard.

"The Ballad of Bobby Pickton"- Why Now?

After months and months of the Video Of "The Ballad of Bobby Pickton" being on YouTube, now the press is on it. Why? Cause the case is done, and they need to keep earning. I haven't made a cent off this piece, but every one from the media that began chasing the story, are being paid. So whose the opportunist? My condemning of the media in the song, never seems to make it into the reports. Hmmmm. They play the families like pawns, use me as a scapegoat - and cash the checks. Anyway, I have more shows to do, which is how I get paid, by standing up. Not by hiding behind facts and quotes, but by presenting my ideas, and "Standing Up" for them.

little did i know...

had a blast working the trailor park boys, stayed late at the after party. didn't know there was a shit storm headed my way. apparently someone got wind of the ballad on youtube, and bunch of people are PISSED!! Did talk to one radio show about it. We'll see how this falls out. I'm still outa town so, i can avoid it for now. The reporter asked me if i was the new Kramer. I said the difference is that Kramer didn't mean to do it. I did.

Saskatewan Show

Had a great time in Saskatewan doing a show for Grain dealers. The blond is a former Stampede Princess. As my old friend Colin Campbell use to say - if you can't be with the one you love, TRY to fuck the blonde! Sadly, my virtue renmained intact. A happily, the mountie at the airport DIDN'T Taser me.

My Daughter, my car and Me

Back in Vancouver

Got in last night, so now I'm slowly getting my place back in order. My aussie sublets, had a good time here, but didn't do too much damage. Apparently there was a party that got some noise complaints, according to Stephane who heard it from my neighbour Genvieve, but there's no eviction notice so I should be good. Throwing out food and some old runners, but there is a couple pair of shoes that a in good shape, and fit, so I guess I'll keep them. I assume they were left behind to save some space. The best part, is not having a cranky female here. Might require some tidying up, but at least I don't have to be driven crazy by someone who is lying to me. So many things I realise now, I should've been aware of when I was away when I was in a relationship, and my partner was not being much of a partner. I think one of the reasons my tour went so well, is I didn't have my relatives or a girlfriend to make me feel bad.

So I have a few days off here at home, then I've gotta tour around a bit on the Prairies before Christmas. Don't expect any contact from my family, so Christmas might actually be fun this year!!

3 shows left

cooming to the end of a long tour. had two shows last night, but the emcee was one of these fatherless boys that like to get back at them by making my life miserable. didnt give him the satisfaction of knowing it pissed me off. Hhe used to live in vancouver but coldnt make it there, so he ha to come home and live withh his mom. So Im happy to be me. Tthe last few days o a ong toour are often the mostly challenging. On the bright side, lots o friends anxious to have me home. love to all

heading home

well, got my ticket booked. backk to van on tuesday. five more shows here.the club is awesome, and ive killed again and again. Breslin said if I keeping doing sshows like that, there is no stopping me.

Meawhile I have pretty much staved of my brothers attempts at sabotage, by reading Richard Lewis book - the other great depression.

sorry, i m writing on a vending maachine coomputer with a metal key boarrd. thhe guy im stayying with is in Ottawa this weeked ad took his computer, so doing this at Coffee Time on King and Bathurst.

thought id give some closure to the last fww blogs. I posted my brothers letter just so my readers could have a view of what i have to deal with, and how little support i get from my family, and how common that is.(And also to prevent my brother from sending any more. As much as I try to rise above or put aside these malevolant concoctions, it still bothers me, so maybe publishing it will get him to leave me alone.) So many artists find the harshest judgement and least love and support from their families. Just ask Richard Lewis.

what a douchebag

Not surprisingly, my brother decided that the week before my big shows in Toronto, it's time to deal with MY problems. As you can see, his idea of love is different than, say, a human beings. How I got stuck with such a douchbag (to quote Shane Ogden) for a brother is beyond me. But, I have learned to handle these attcaks without allowing them to cause too much damage , and throw me off my game. Looks like another Christmas without them. More time for my real family. Not blood, but treat me like a real brother or sister would. Anyway, dear readers, as you know, I hold nothing back from you, so here's what I'm dealing with. Nice eh?

my brother's letter.

Hi Rick

It was difficult to respond to you on the telephone last week or even over coffee in August. I am therefore doing so by email. I am glad your work is going well and certainly a tour of 40 shows "validates" you as a comedian. You complain your family let you down in your time of need. This is not how we see it. I hope you can acknowledge that more than one interpretation can be reasonable. The objective of the family withdrawing from you was that we feel that the family has been enabling you to continue a destructive life style and we dont want to do that anylonger. We had hoped that you would get the message and get help.

What we did not want was for you to crash again and over the next several years return to our former level of functioning without addressing any of your underlying issues.

Irrespective of what had been hoped for it appears that you are recoverng on your own in the manner that you have in the past.You do look healtheir now than you did last December but in my opinion you could go further. I still dont think it can be done on your own and your shrink is of limited value.

Incidentally I read your blogs on myspace. You did not want me to ask you last August how you were making a living. You have the right to with hold information from me but if you dont want it to be known publishing it on the web is not the best approach.

You are very angry at Leane.
Rick the details are unimportant. Even the sex bit. The point is that she left you but the point you dont seem to understand was that you chased her away. Infidelity is just a means of escape it is not the cause of relationship breakdown.

In a similar way you chased your family away. Your blogs don't mention Reide calling the police in Camrose and your expulsion from your home town. I was not there but clearly you terrified your nephew and that explains your anger towards him when I mentioned his plans for the ministry.

You state that you are sensitive and creative and therefore were damaged in your upbringing in a way that the rest of us were not. Everyone grows up in a different family and I dont know if there was some synster event in your life which you have kept secret. Certainly you are creative, a trait that is held by many in the family. But for sure I dont think you are sensitive. I would note the Ballad to Bobby Picton combines insensitivity and creativity.

I do believe that you misinterpret the world and you have a difficulty learning from your mistakes. Thus the 10 years cycle of life crises on your part.

I am not a psychiatrist but I am a doctor and did study psychiatry. You state that even without drugs and alcohol you have the same feelings. This is not surprizing. Drugs and alcohol are not your primary problem they are just self medication on your part for your underlying problem. But unfortunately they are not effective.

ALthough I am not qualified to make a diagnosis it is well known that creativity and the schizophrenic trait go together. This is true of other thought disorders as well.

I agree with you on one point. Our parents did make a mistake concerning our upbringing. . Mom and Dad felt that the Lett family was immune from everything bad in the world. We did not and should not have the problems that others did.

That meant when you were a kid in grade 3 with serious behavioural problems it was not taken seriously. It was actually a joke or you were being bad and deserved punishment . No one entertained the idea that you had a thought disorder. Certainly I did not.

In summary I think are highly creative but have a thought disorder which results in you misinterpreting your experience and means that you are not capable of learning from that experience. You are approaching 50 but with your danish genes could well just be at the midpoint of your life. So dont stop on your road to recovery , you are not there yet. I am in Canada for another week and we could talk again if you wish. Let me know. Otherwise lets meet in early March.

Why am I doing this. Because you are my brother and I care about you. If i can try and help all of Africa it should be possible to offer to help my only brother. So dont be angry just think about what I have said.

your loving brother
Ron

blog just doesnt wanna do pictures

this blog is continueing to not function well. if i hadn't been writing on it so long, and have loyal readers to it, i might just blog on face book. i'll keep trying, and readers - let me know if i should abandon blogspot, and do it all on facebook or not.
anyway, pictured above are my pals brett and peter, and then yukyuks girls(women) jess and fatima. the yukyuks office here is so different from the old calgary office. here, the atmosphere is fun, and supportive and friendly. the old calgary office was like walking on eggshells with the CRANKIEST soccer moms you'll ever meet. do not miss thier bitchy incompetance, one bit!!

The arrival of Jack Murphy

Hey blogheads. Can't seem to load pictures very easily to blogspot, so track me down on face book to see more photos of the birth that I had the fortune to be around. This tour is winding down, as I only have weeks in London and Toronto left. I am holding up well, and the YukYuks office here has been great in clearing out potential problems for me. The shows (over thirty of them now) have gone well. I have also done about a dozen open mics in Poetry and Stand up. Not having to deal with or worry about family or girlfriends had made this tour almost drama free. The tumult out west continues to go on as various people continue to jocky for position. My position hasn't changed - which is that I work for YukYuks, and there is no reason to change. The people that jumped ship recently were a thorn in my side that I am glad to be without. I am glad to be working with people who know my value and treat me well.

Plus, being staying with Neal and Briar as they bring their new son into the world has been exciting and life-affirming. Welcome JACK!!

The pics of the EAST Coast

Here we see Sean McGarrigle kicking of the guerilla poetry event in Halifax. By the end of this afternoon, an Atlantic Gale will drnch us all.

There's Dan Guiry, the troubled youth who opened for me. And made a name for himself, in various ways, one as a funny guy, and two, as the comedy scene's new punching bag, as I handed the torch to him.
The martimes is pretty catholic , as is evidenced by this back yard shrine.
And there I am on the shores of the Atlantic, so I can finally say I've done jokes from Sea to sea!!

last show in the maritimes

Just getting ready to do my last show out here before I fly back to Toronto. All the shows have gone great and I've met a bunch of cool people and do I'm sorry it comes to an end. I'll load some pictures when I get back to Toronto. Past the halfway mark of the tour now, and still going strong. I ALMOST miss Vancouver, but not yet.

Moncton New Brunswick

Hello loyal readers. I'm in Moncton now, relaxing at the hotel with a night off. Halifax was great fun, between the shows and the Canadian Festival of Spoken Word. Saw some great slam poetry, and sat in on some inspiring panel discussions.(during which I said that as a straight white man, if I talked about what I was allowed to say, I'd be a mime.) Then we did some Guerrila poetry by going around the city streets doing poetry. Finally an Atlantic gale came up and we got soaked. I took a couple days to get my stuff dried out.

It was great to see my pal's from Vancouver, ie Fred and Sean and Zach - and also got the chance to meet and drink with Nora. They were all great and finished in the finals with the tiniest of margins of scores seperating all the teams. It was also very cool to see my new poetry friends from Toronto and Calgary out there mixing with the Van slam. It's remarkable how fast I have gone from deciding to do slam poetry in February to hanging out at the nationals in October. The producer of the festival told me I had made a real impression andI was definately now, one of them. Very nice.

Now I am in Moncton after a great show in Fredrickton. Tomorrow tonight I go to Dooley's in Marimeshi. This is the portion of the tour where I've never been before.

Five Hundred Posts!!!

Okay, here I am in Halifax, waiting to check in to my room cause my flight was at nine am, but they don't usually check people in till three. hmmmm. so while I wait, I think I'll post some pictures of Janet, Chanze and Cheryl from last weekend.

Meanwhile, I checked out the schedule for the Canadian finals of Spoken Word here, and look to be headed over to Ginger's tavern after my show to check the festivities.

Read that Kevin Smith (Clerks, Silent Bob guy) has had his blog published as a book. With Five Hundred Posts, thats a lot of stuff.

Comedians - chronologically

Names later when I'm not in a web cafe.

Photos back on.

Trying to catch up my readers with images. My first weekend was in Niagara falls as you may remember. First person I hooked up with in TO is the infamous Matt Billon.

post497

well, here we go trying to catch up again, and still no photo's. but if i ever wanna reach 500 posts, i have to POST!
so in the last week, I hung out with super pal janet panic, and went to a NFL game in Buffalo. It was amazing. I took some pictures and these i will have to feed in later. look at it like those crimes books where all the glossy black and whites are in the middle. I love that.

meanwhile, i need to write up a resume for the office here.
I fly to Halifax thursday morning. and briar's getting closer and closer to the day. tic tic. jack will be here around the time i get back from the east coast.

life is fun again. didn't think it could be, but y'know...

hanging out with pa hog and billon

yesterday, hung out with paul myerhaug and matt billon. lots of laughs, mostly at my expense, but i can take it.
was gonna go to yukyuks but there was a fund-raiser and so i just came home, ate pizza and watched the soprano's. I have fallen way behind on that so it was a new one for me. Now i'm awake before my housemates and so I'll need to sneak out for some coffee. I jus noticed that this is my 497th blog entry. That's a lot of blogs. I have to have a special one for the 500th.

sorry blogheads, been busy

hey y'all,
been trying to download pictures and haven't been able to, plus been real busy doing shows and stuff, so i've neglected you for a bit. Lett's see if I can bring you up to date.

Featured in hamilton and kitchener. went very well. the slam poetry at the end of my show is really working well. brought them to their feet in Kitchener (ie standing ovation - not running to the doors) Did a closing set at the Fox and fiddle and CRUSHED. Also been out to several spoken word events, like the Dominion on Queen and last night at The Pilot for the TO slam team's fundraiser. Really enjoying my new friends out here in the spoken word world. Keeps me sharp, and active, without having to see the haters from stand-up (who are no doubt lurking on this blog hoping I'll write something they can use to tattle on me. Boo!).

This weekend I'm doing Ajax with Jay Brown, so it'll be fun to work with my old roommate again. My best pal Janet Panic is coming to TO this week, as well as KFoxx, so it should be interesting.

Neal and I went to the Jays game on Sunday, (last game of the season, and it looks like I'm going to an NFL game in Buffalo next weekend. Briar is having their baby OCt 30 and she doesn't want us to go. So who knows. But I have a feeling Neal's gonna win this one. I will have pictures soon I hope. Gotta go.

poetry reading and spirits

I read two poems at Ed Nixon's show at "Isn't Just a Deli" on Queen st West. Read "Crocuses" and "Insomnia". Then I went to Spirits and hung out with Dave Tsonas, Jennifer Grant, Rob Pue, Mike Craigdallie and Matt Billon. Matt encouraged me to do "The Ballad of Bobby Picton" and "She got Fat" for Mike, so my poems got a good work out last night.

Today, I'm gonna try to find a piano to play, and deposit my check and do whatever Briar says. Life is easier that way. Fortunately, being in her third trimester, she usually forgets what she's told me to do, and if not, is easily distracted by a well placed joke. Got an email from Breanna yesterday. She is in French immersion, and got 100 % on a math test. In french! Kid's got brains.

art bar, and hanging out with the eggwoman

went out to the art bar at a pub called Clinton's last night. It is one of the more literary events in Toronto. Ended up do "I Won't Pay" from memeory on the open mic, so I'm pretty sure I won't need to use a paper for that one again. I found a web cafe that I think I'll be able to download pictures on, so I'm hoping images will return to the blog.

Went for a walk with 7 month pregnant briar to my new office, a coffee place on gerrard and broadview. We had a good talk about our families and what destructive forces they've been in our lives. It is coming clear to me that I may never have any real communication with them again. I met with my brother a few weeks ago, but I am sure that he has decided that I am still far to unhealthy to be associated with them. Not that I want to be, as their lives slide into mediocrity, their need to dismiss me as not good enough for them is ironic.

The more I think about (which I try to do as little as possible) the more i know that it was my father who I had most in common with, and his life was also far different than his families, so I guess, in a certain way I am following his footsteps, on my own path.

I am reminded of my going away party, and the real affection shown for me by my friends, and the joy of not having my family around to dismiss, discourage and criticize. I miss my dad, but not THEM.

And the journey of the fall of 07 continues...

First Toronto Slam

Went out the the Press Club last night, and got onto my first TO sLam. Eight slammers competed. I did "I won't Pay" and rocked the place. In fact I finished first after the first round - with one judge scoring me 10. So in the second round, the TO slammers including Truth Is and Electric John, brought their A games. I did "Insomnia" and scored another ten, with a total score of 28.1. However Truth Is, a local star, and a very fine slam poet, scored at 28.3 and won, leaving moi in 2nd. All in all, a good time. Still very much enjoy the company of poets. Now it's time to find some more Poetry rooms and some music open mics, as I find places to fit in that are non stand-up related.

I'm staying with my old friend Briar and her man Neal. Briar is seven months pregnant, and is in good spirits generally, considering she is still working full-time. Those Alberta girls have Moxy.

Neal manages a new restaurant called "Cowbell" and the review in Saturday's Globe and Mail was through the roof! Couldn't be a more glowing recommendation, so reserve now for a table next year!!

There's a show called the Art Barn on Tuesdays at the Clinton, so I'm gonna chase that down.

Today I'm gonna try and hook up with Matt Billon and pick up my check from YukYuks. Maybe play some music tonight.
love to all

first show like riding a bike

after a few months off from doing real shows, came back last night to a great response. very large and nice crowd who all happily shook my hand after. settling into TO nicely. the unconditional (so far, and i don't plan to push it) love of B&N (plus the soon to be arriving baby) makes a big difference. hung out with good pals Matt Billon, Paul Myerhaug and Rob Pue on Wednesday. Went to local open mic here at spirits. the usual thing... with some haters trying to spurn me, but to no avail. really wish the haters would return their anger to it's original source (ie their absent fathers) and put some energy into their acts - which are clearly going nowhere. YAWN.

Catching the safeway bus out to Niagara falls again today. It goes to one of the casinos, so it ends up being 20 bucks return. Need to find someone to burn Cd's for me to start making that extra cash, but like I said, the show is in great shape.

So there are no pictures but can't find a driver for this new camara. I will work on it, but for now, loyal readers, it's just gonna be words.

blogging again

had some trouble getting this blogspot acct to open on briar's computer, but have done it for now. i have got a camara to work and so will have photo's soon, but should really get ready to catch the bus to Niagara Falls for my first real show in a few months. but fear not loyal readers, there will be plenty to talk about in the days that follow - so more later.

wasn't that a party

Well, it's the night before i fly to TO to get back to work at my main thang, but i gotta tell you about the party on Saturday night. My favourite genius David McNally was first to show up at 7:45 with his friend John. Then town drunk John showed up right at 8pm, when the party was scheduled to start. He had a bottle of whiskey in his pocket, and for a sixty two year he held his own, being the last to leave at about 3am. Then Corry my hairstylist showed up followed by Winstar and Angela. Three beautiful women, and a ration unequaled at any of my other parties. (To be fair, the other parties were primarily the ex's friends and were for the most part to old and lame for my tastes. My insistence that no one in Overalls would be allowed insured that we would not have to sustain the squawking sound of BS that ineveitable accompanied it. (Rogue - you know what I mean)). Special K showed up with freshly baked cookies and Banana bread, but thats as down home as it got.

Coolness followed. Duff showed up with FOUR women, and Stephane arrived to insure that there will always be someone with a french accent at the OV parties. The rest of the Noobie Nobinson band showed up, Hat and MaHATma, and the music went live. Corry played and sang, I played and sang, and Rowan Lipkovitz played his accordian and did his classic Al Mater adaptations. We closed his set with a spirited rendition of "The Ballad of Bobby Pickton".

Rogue compelled Sara to sing with me accompanying and made sure the standard level of wierdness was maintained.

The effervescent Clare showed up with a date and a very funny card for me, and pastries stolen from her work. Speaking of hot food, I got some frozen pizza's and cooked them and it really hit the spot. Never thought of doing that at a party before, but it worked (note to self). As the night got hazy and the noise complaints started coming in, my cousin Marc showed up. Marc is the only member of my family (besides my daughter) worth inviting to these things.

The whole night was a reminder of how far I've come since booting the ex out. Marc was the only one at my New Years Eve party and he was the last guest to show up at my place. The truth is, I have turned my life around, kept the friends I wanted from the past, and added a bunch of new ones. My anger has be replaced with a sense of peace, and this party showed how much people have come to care about me.

Tommorow, begins a new leg of my journey, and I look forward to having a coming home party in a couple of months. Thanks to all my friends who showed up, and all the heartfelt regrets by those that couldn't show up. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

rogue - where are you

i know you read my blog Rogue, come to my hitting the road party tommorow night. you know the address!!

some of my favourite photos of bree

Since i am off to Toronto on Tuesday to begin an eight week comedy tour, I thought I'd load these pics onto my blog for when I get to missing my girl, since I'll be away from my computer and my files. Still trying to get my camara fixed/replaced so all I have are old images right now. Is she the cutest or what!!

time penalty costs me the victory

Went to the poetry slam last night. Finished in the money - third, even though i had a time penalty. Got one 10 in my score.

Hung out with Rogue, who did his piece on not having much of a "piece". Very funny, but he went over time too, so he didn't advance. He manges to not care and continue to dance to a different drummer. Since I'm hitting the road next week, that will be my last salm till I get back. Then slam has been great fun for me, and even though the B listers tried to push me out, I held my ground and found my place there. Fred asked me if I would like to be on the team next year, and I told him I would. Then I went to the Arts club to play my songs. People liked the new ending on the path.

I am starting to feel the seperation anxiety that I always get before leaving on a long road trip but "this too shall pass".

The week that made it to September.

Well, let's see loyal readers, whats happened. Monday - played a set of songs at Arts Monday, had my first musician groupie experience. Didn't hate it. Brett Martin played his guitar, following the fledgling trend of comedians who play music.

Worked Tuesday for Denis, doing construction. Ripping out a floor. I did it for two days.

Tuesday Night I went to the Main Street Slam. Leanne and the rest of the trialer park were their. I just wanted to get my Four Poets of the Apocalypse story read. K came along. My story killed. The Trailer Park boys did some stuff, which K HATED. (perhaps she's biased cause she knows how these guys have treated me, but who cares, bias wins elections.) Any way, the A listers were there, so it was great to talk with Spillious and McGargle, Fred, RC, swanface and those two black guys. (Kidding!! Zach and Scruff - two of Van Slam's top voices) So it was a good night. As winner I recieved a free back rub.

Wednesday - Worked construction and drove some girls. Very tiring day, which ended at 9am Thursday.

Oh, met up with Brian, and Aussie who was looking at my place. He decided to take it, so now my rent concerns are done till Dec. Nice!

Hung out with Stephane on Thursday. He came out to watch me play at Yew York. Did my songs in practice for me singing my song at Church on Sunday.

Friday, saw my shrink, and we got to work on anger. Intense EMDR. Lots of tears. hmmmm

Saturday, music lesson/practice with Allan and K on her flute. She made him sit up, once he realised she could play.

This Morning, did the songs at church (The Path, and me accompanying K in Ode to Joy.)

and we killed... or praised or something. It went well!

best part of Merrit

Ernie Butler

Sadly, Ernie Butler passed away yesterday. Ernie was the kingpin of stand-up comedy in Montreal, and I had the opportunity to to work at his club and be on his radio show twice last year. He was a pioneer and an inspiration, and his impact will live on. Thanks for everything Ernie!!

play-reading and sub-letting

This weekend was pretty interesting. Friday - went to jessica's party with K. Was pretty fun - except I got home late and then got a call to drive Chanelle. That ended at 7am. I slept for a bit, then drove out to Maple Ridge to take Breanna to audition for some casting company. The event was just a promo to sell the school, but Bree was great and we got to spend time together, which was the point. Then I drove her back to Maple Ridge and then went directly to Pacific Theatre, to do a reading of Kim Seary's Magdelena's Monster. I read "Henry" and, well what can I say, we got a standing ovation. It was very cool to do theatre again.

Then about 2am, I got a call to drive a new girl, Santana. Two hour call to West Van. Pretty grim. Young, attractive, bitchy and addicted to crack. Oh well.

Then I slept a bit and went to church.

After church we had a board of managers meeting, and then I met with a guy who needed to sublet. Didn't get the place too clean at that point and so, ah, he didn't go for it.

Then I had dinner at K's. We are doing some music at church next week and needed to practice. Watched "The Dead Girl". good story.

So now I'm cleaning. Taking Money to the bank, and gonna have a coffee in a bit. Dates for the tour are firming up.

September Niagara Falls, Hamilton, Kingston.

October: ajax, halifax, moncton, missiagauauhauauwah.

November - Toronto.

Gonna play music at the arts club later tonight. tomorrow, back to working demolition. hard work, but its nice to get a check at the end of the week, and not hang out with crack heads.

This picture is NOT how I look any more. Cut off all the hair and stuff. Have recieved many compliments for my new look from women, gay men and my daughter. So there ya go.

EMDR to the rescue.

AS you could probably tell, the stuff that went down at the story slam had me in a bit of a rage, but went to see Dr.A and was able to metabolize those feelings with EMDR, and see what the point of it was. It really was about the story, which I have now figured out I will record and include on my next CD. The timekeeper's hostility was born out of her feelings of being threatened and need to control things - things she doesn't understand. My feelings of being attacked came from an area of vulnerability that is central to my psychological healing and growth. Meanwhile, not to throw the baby out with the bathwater - The story is actually very good, and I now know what it is good for. Another track on the new CD.

more adventures in my life.

hey blogheads. did the story slam tonight. thought to help ivan out, and did use it to force out my story about the road trip to the thought express fest in calgary. It's called "the four poets of the apocalypse". ran over time, which i didn't realise till the time keeper rang the gong. twice. such a barbaric way to do things. the format i guess works, particularly for the convention of rewarding conformity and mediocrity. still not good at being submissive to rules especially delivered by school marms. so when whats her face tried to stop my story, (which got many laughs and is pretty darn good, if i do say so myself), i said i had a wife like you once. it's a classic richard lettism, but the humour was lost on them. so whats her face got all upset for doing her job, and being treated badly, poor thing. as if being ugly and stupid weren't enough. anyway, enough of that. plus the fucking cunt from salmon arm with the mustache and the worse fashion sense since HR Puffenstuff is always hanging around. this after a long day and half of jack hammering marble tiles, driving this escort with nasty boils to some call, it was a bit much. thankfully fernando and K were ther to make me feel not so snake like. big day tomorrow. probably will drive tonight. will put the story up soon. okay just got a call, to take my best girl chanelle to a call. woo woo white lightning.

music, poetry and jokes

On Wednesday night, I took my first run at combining poetry, music and comedy at the Arts Club's Backstage lounge. It held together well, and the audience relly liked it. So my pursuit of expanding my expressions, and my show, is starting to pay dividends. It is rmearkable for me how soon things have come around, spending my time on this instead of the drunken pointlessness of the stand-up community.

I was too late to get a song in at Yew York last night, but just watching Tea and Mike do their songs gives me ideas about what I can do up there and what new songs I can write.

I had a non-confrontational coffee with my brother. He's going to Ethiopia to get married and live, so it was good to meet with him before he left, put some old anger/anxiety to bed.

I have been working at a friends on some home repairs for her, and so I will be back at that for a few hours today, after I get a coffee or two in me. then the show tongith at the CopperTank. So, loyal readers, gotta go, but have yourselves a great weekend.

EMDR

Have been working with my shrink with a protocol called EMDR (eye movement desensitizing reprocessing) and have found it to be very useful. Basically it is a way too process feelings and trauma's without talking about them. (Talking about sad things tends to make people sad, and takes a long time to get anywhere)By alternately stimulating both sides of the brain, it allows you to observe images and feelings ina way that doesn't add to the trauma. Like a dream state that gets you through stuff in the way that the brain recalls them, through images. This has been around for about twenty years, and has proved very successful in helping adults who have suffered abuse as a child to process it, and move toward a full recovery. Already I have been able to stop drinking and other substances as a way to kill pain, and I am feeling a lot clearer and am getting things done. If I can gain a healthly mental outlook through this, and my music and my time off from stand up, then this summer will have been the break through I have been looking for. I am looking forward to my two month tour out east, and have a lot of confidence in myself, as an artist and a person. I owe this, in no small part to my therapist, and myself - for not giving up on me.

Meanwhile I have a voice audition tomorrow, and a music lesson, then working on my friends house reno's, meeting with my brother for the first time this year, then doing a show at the arts club, doing comedy, poetry and music. Looks to be a full day, and so loyal readers, I think I'll hit the sack, and do some dreaming, and actually remember some of them, which hasn't happened in years.

must write more.

whenever i slack off from blogging, i forget how many readers i have. so here we go. drove all night last night. off to do a spot at the coppertank tonight. went with a friend to wtach and photgragh her in a triathalon. Without my own camara, the pictures didn't work out to well, as my friend was quick to point out. Perhaps my skills in photgraphy were the camara's and not me. My buddy Stephan has some work for me tomorrow and for a few days a week doing demolition, so this will help get some bills paid for before I leave for TO and the Maritimes in September. Poetry and Music have been going well and I am really enjoying doing it. My buddy Twitchy Rich is a big fan of poetry, and thinks I should write one about the "Four Poets of the Apocalypse". So I'll try.

I have been haunted a bit by thoughts of my ex, including wondering if she has thoughts of me. I know what she tells people about me, as was clearly outline by the blowhard jack-ass that did his "poem" challenging me to a fight, but i sometimes wonder what she thinks when she remembers what really happened. Time will make these thoughts fade, and I must say I'm feeling better all the time.

My shrink asked me to contact my mother to ask about her pregnancy with me, and so this has given my brother the need/excuse to contact me to have coffee with him. My shrink said it would be okay if parameters were set with what was to be talked about. My brother is no doubt looking for information to feed the family gossip mill, as well as "facts" to control my movements in regards to my family. He is in need of maintaining the belief that my estrangement from my family is his punishment of me, as opposed to my choice to no longer be their punching bag. Family are highly over rated things.

zawa's

Decided after Clint"Father Goose" continued to encourage to come out to a comedy open mic at Zawa's on the drive, to go there last night. There were a few young assoicates of mine who were doing sets there, as well as some aspiring comics whom I hadn't met. They all seemed very excited to meet me, and anxious to see me perform. This was nice, after meeting so much hostility in the comedy scene. It was great reminder of what stand-up is really about, and made me feel better about it, and me doing it. I haven't done many open mics of late, but was glad I did last night.

tuesday rain

let's see. some updates.
back to work with my shrink DR. A. We are doing a kind of therapy called EMDR, which is a way of clearing out imblance within yr noggen. Progress pscologically has been good, and I feel that I will be in a good place when I hit the road in the fall. He was very pleased to hear how well I had handled leanne's latest attempt to shame me by conjuring up all sorts of accusations about, while remaining amazingly quiet and unrepentant for her own behavior(chasing poor Richard Van Camp around). It is very easy for women to accuse men of being abusive, but the truth is, she was as mean to me as anyone has been, as well as leaving me with huge debt and medical problems. I never laid a hand on her, but she is obviously a dishonest person, and will say anything to be seen as the victim. Her not showing up at poetry events, and then sending her venom out, is simply a cover for her chronic unfaithfulness. All of this is nothing, apparently compared to my poem "She Got Fat". The poem kills whenever I do it, and of course I don't name her, although I do take pleasure in slagging Salmon Arm, which I guess might identify her a bit. That and her fat.

The Poetry Slam didn't go too well for me, as my scores for the Immune Poem weren't high enough to get me into the second round, so I headed to The Backstage Lounge, but was called away to drive and escort before I could get up. I am short on August rent, and so am trying to make as much, and spend as little as possible. Ah the life of an artist.

close to salmon arm

Salmon Arm, noted for its hosebags and hillbillies was NOT the location of this great deal. It was Sicamous, which is close enough to salmon arm to import teens from.

This was just one of the highlights of the "four poets of the apocalypse" tour.

Fernando has since been using this time spent with me, as an excuse for bad behavior. This is a sign of a true friend, as my childhood pals also used me as an excuse when we got in trouble. This is just one way I add to the world.

new poem launched

managed to finish my poem "Immune" and perform it at two slams. Sara and Vitamin F liked it, so thats all that matters. A bit of controversy cropped up as my ex continues her games and her playing the victim card, (me controversy? never!) but it gave me practice on my new "grace under pressure" stance. Things have been sorted out, and I believe I can finally move on. there will always be those who attempt to crush me, just for being little ole brilliant me, but these types inevitably fade into the background.

did a set in Kits last night.

been doing stand-up at one of the local pubs. looks like I'll get a gig there.
working on new poem for the slam tonight, "Immunity".

and todays the day to take my bottles in.
yup I'm broke.
drained my resources with my daughter over the weekend, but that's what its for, so i was glad to do it.

Also, got at start on my new song "White Lightning".

And I'm back working with my shrink for the next while.

broke my camara

things happen,

like you break the power switch on your camara, and its too old to fix.

or your best girl honey, out of the blue, gets a car and a GPS, and is driving herself.

but good things happen too. frieworks party 2moro, with my daughter breanna in attendance.

my songs are coming along, and i think i have a hook into a new poem, for the slam on Monday.

no pictures, means writing more.

which is probably a good idea, since i'm a writer.

Thought Express Fest.