Story Slam Winner!

I went to partake in my first "Slam". My first show in my new world of Spoken Word.It was a Story Slam, where everyone has to tell a story under five minutes. I finished third and IN THE MONEY!! Leanne had a higher score, but she went long. The story I did was edited down from the blog I wrote a few days ago. I will include the winning edit.

Memorial Day – by Richard Lett

It was Tuesday after a long weekend and I had been in New York City a week. Jody from Stand Up New York told me I could do a set on if I could bring 6 people who would pay cover and a 2 drink minimum, I had the guy I met coming in on the bus, an old girlfriend, and Costa, the Greek guy I was staying with. Out of them I should be able to come up with at least 6 people. Jody reminded me, that if my peeps didn’t show up, not only will I not get on, but they wouldn’t like me very much.

The holiday was memorial day.Memorial day, it turns out, is a war memorial and according to homeland insecurity a good time for terrorists to attack, and so Manhattan was armed to the teeth under orange alert. I phoned my daughter, she was eight. I said “We’re under Orange Alert!” She said, “that sounds pretty!”

By that morning it was apparent NO ONE was coming to my show. “Darling, no one goes out the day after along weekend.” A sense of doom followed me as wandered around Hell’s Kitchen and sat in Memorial park, (this time for the fireman of 911). I checked my subway map, and the only thing between me and Stand Up New York, was Central Park.

Central Park, I had heard, was a place to be mugged or murdered. It is, in fact, one of the most beautiful parks in the world. I was overwhelmed. I sat at Strawberry Fields and tried to imagine what John Lennon had.

As I walked along a wooded path, I realized how quiet it was. Somehow in a place with somewhere around 12 million people lived, I was alone. I thought , almost out loud, “how strange to be in such a beautiful place, and have no one to share it with. To be alone.” And then a voice spoke, “You’re not alone”. I have felt that presence before, but never so clearly.

I said, “Lord. If this is it - if this as far as my little jokes get me - to come here to see this beautiful place, then I’m good.“ Then I found a large rock, sat on it, took off my boots, and prayed my fucking ass off. Then I walked to the club.

The early show was just ending when I got there. The headliner’s a guy in western gear named Dustin. “I’m an authentic Texan. I lived in a trailer court, I’ve had sex with my cousin and I’ve seen a UFO.”

I talked to him after the show. I ask him what happens if your people don’t show up. He said, “Why, are they late?” I said “No, I think they’re in Vancouver.” “Oh, well, tell ‘em there late and maybe they’ll let you on anyway…”


Right then Jody walks up. “Richard, where are your people? It’s quarter to, they’re s’posed to be here by now.” “I think they’re late.” “Well can you call them?” I said, “sure”.

I stepped outside with my dead cell phone to my ear, pretending to call, pacing and looking at my watch. Out of the dark bounds two beautiful blonde girls. “Oh here it is!” one of them squeals. I said, “Are you here to see the comedy?” “Yes” they spout in unison, jumping up and down excitedly. I said ”Are you here to see anyone one in particular?” “No just the comedy.”

I don’t know if, in the history of New York comedy and it’s “bringer shows”, this idea has ever been used before but I swear I just acted on impulse. I said, “Are you sure you’re not here to see …” I pointed to my name on the sign,” Richard Lett?”.

The girls looked a me, and bit hard they’re eyes sparkling like stars. “Are you Richard Lett?”. I smiled. “Yes, yes. We’re here to see Richard Lett!!!” The father of the two, obvious by his tired but enthusiastic smile, stood behind them on the street. I said to him, “Would you mind telling them at the box office, that you’re here to see me.” He said “Sure, as soon as the rest of our people get here…” A cab pulls up, and three guys jump out. Jody walks out and I grin. She says, “I knew you peeps would show”.

Nobody bothered to ask how this family from Biloxi Mississippi knew this comedian from Vancouver, but being the Tuesday night after a long weekend, they represented a full third of the audience, and that’s all that mattered.

I was sitting at the bar going over my notes in my book when Ellen Cleghorn came in. Very recognizable from her years on Saturday Night Live, she had dropped in to do a set, and so a few comics got bumped. Not me though, I had my people out there. As Ellen’s getting ready to go on she looks over at me with my book and beams a smile. “It’s all funny. I can tell.” Wow!

While Ellen is on Carolyn Rhea shows up. If the backstage wasn’t buzzing before, it is now. Jody walks around telling some other comics the bad news, and then she walks up to me. “Carolyn’s probably gonna do about half an hour, then you’re on for seven.

My set is hot, my peeps love it. As I’m closing I can see a crowd of comics gathering. I find out what the hubbub is. A kid I grabs my arm, “Chris Rock is here.”

And sure enough he is. He got up and did an hour. He struggles to get laughs and I look over at my to Buloxi angels. They grin and wave and gesture that Chris is boring them. I smile.

As I stood surrounded by my newly acquired fan club(Biloxi chapter), Chris walked by. I explained to the girls that he had been working on new material, and I was doing my “A” stuff, but it didn’t matter to them. That day, wasn’t about Chris Rock for them. For them that day was about Richard Lett. A memorial day to be sure.

October 6, 2005